Good morning. It’s a Monday morning and I feel like it might be time for one of my more…unusual thoughts for the day. The following story is intended to get us thinking.
Gordon paced nervously around his living room. He’d never been audited before, but there wasn’t any way around it, the audit guy was on his way and would be there any minute. “Why am I so nervous?” he thought out loud. “I’ve been good. I mean I haven’t done anything worse than what most everyone tries to get away with. I just need to relax, if he sees me this nervous, he’ll assume that I am guilty.”
The doorbell rang as that last thought made its way around his head. “Oh no,” he thought, “there he is.” Before he opened the door, Gordon snuck a peak through the curtains. “That can’t be right.” He said to himself “that’s a young woman.”
Gordon answered the door saying, “hello, can I help you?” Gordon looked at the young lady standing on the step and noted that she was very official looking, and actually quite attractive. In her hand she held a brief case that was equally official looking and quite attractive. “Are you Gordon Stinson?” she asked. When Gordon nodded his head in the affirmative she responded “Good afternoon. I am Miss Smythe from the Eternal Revenue Service. I believe we are scheduled for an audit?” “Oh, well, yes of course.” Gordon replied. “I just wasn’t expecting a…er..I mean…expecting anyone so…uhhhhmm, young. Yeah, that’s it. I wasn’t expecting anyone so young!” “May I come in?” she asked. “Oh! Of course!” Gordon said stepping out of the way.
“No need to be nervous Mr. Stinson, this is a routine check. We from the ERS only need to take a few minutes of your time to evaluate your thanks return from last year.” “My thanks return?” gulped Gordon. “Well yes, we are interested because after examining your return we see that you gave very little thanks in 2020.” That caused Gordon to react a little more strongly than he would have intended. “Thanks! But it was 2020! It was a terrible year! I think it is remarkable that I gave any thanks at all!”
“I see,” replied Miss Smythe. “Well let me set up my praise calculator and we’ll run through your year.” With that, she set a strange looking box on the table that had only two buttons. The blue button said “Praise!” and when you pushed it you heard a pleasant chime. The black button said “Praise Denied” and made an annoying buzz when pushed. “All right then, let’s see if we can’t ‘account’ your blessings shall we. I see that you didn’t personally contract COVID or any other serious illnesses last year?” “Well, no,” replied Gordon “I had a cold once, but it wasn’t serious. I may not have given thanks for not getting COVID, but I didn’t complain any more than usual for getting the cold either.” “No thanks for staying healthy.” She pushed the black button, and a buzz sound filled the air. “Hmm,” she went on, “ I see that while your company had to reduce its employees last year by a significant number you not only weren’t laid off but got a raise.” “Yes, well,” Gordon sputtered, “that raise was long over-due if you ask me.” She shook her head and said, “but no thanks were given?” and the buzz noise again filled the air. “OK,” she said, “I also see that you were in an accident with your car last year, but you weren’t hurt in the collision? “No, I wasn’t hurt, but my car needed a lot of repairs. Surely I can’t be expected to give thanks when something bad happens like a car accident?” She looked at him for a few moments, said nothing, and pressed the black button. Buzzzzzzzzzzz!
“Wait a minute” Gordon shouted, “how long is your list anyway?” Without answering she reached into her briefcase and removed a folder that was stuffed with pages. “It is long enough” she said, holding the pages up to him. “All right! I admit it! I didn’t give thanks like I should have. But 2020 was a lousy year, you can ask anyone and they’ll tell you.” When she didn’t answer he lowered his head and said “OK, you got me. I don’t have a good excuse and there isn’t any reason to fight it. What happens now? Am I going to…you know?” “What happens now?” she echoed. “Why nothing happens. This isn’t about punishment, it is about opening your heart and mind.” Gordon heard her, but he couldn’t quite figure out what she was getting at. “Whether or not you give thanks is always up to you. But I will say this, when you do take a moment to give thanks you will find that your moment, your day, why even a rotten year will suddenly feel blessed. And being blessed, well that is just one more thing to be thankful for!”
Gordon smiled at her as she put away her little praise counting machine and walked to the door. “Thank you for coming” he said. “Yes,” she said with a smile, “isn’t it great to give thanks.”
Enjoy a thankful day.
Vern