Good morning. I would like to share with you a personally traumatic experience from early in my life. I remember the event as traumatic only because the details were so shocking to me that my memory of those moments remains very clear in spite of the passing of several decades.
My paternal grandmother, whose name was Hilda, and whose stature was something less than 4’10”, was perhaps the most gentle spirited person I have ever known. I never heard her ridicule anyone, share mean gossip about anyone, or shout at anyone. I do not recall a time when I remember her being angry for any of those things, except, perhaps, on this one occasion.
At the age of 4 or 5 I was alone with my grandmother Hilda at her home. I do not recall what it was that I wanted that caused her to say “no, don’t touch that.” I do recall that she was serious enough about it for her to employ what I thought of as her portable stairway (remember, she was less than 4’10” tall) which was a collapsible set of steps with a small platform at the top. She took the forbidden item, climbed her steps, and placed it on top of a cupboard. Grandma Hilda went about her business in another room, and I spent the next several minutes figuring out how to make her portable-collapsible steps work. I figured it out, climbed the steps, and reaching as high as I could I ultimately could touch the item, but I couldn’t quite grasp it. Unfortunately, I didn’t give up. I kept trying until the item fell from its place and shattered on the floor.
When my sweet, gentle, patient, and kind little granny came into the kitchen…she did so with a shout, and then she hit me. No, not a punch in the nose, a light swat on my little 4-5 year old gluteus maximus. That moment is the traumatic event which is a permanent part of my memory.
To be sure, I have been punished more severely by others, hit much harder by others, yelled at more forcefully by others, but I can’t remember those events. I remember this moment because it was so out of character for my grandma Hilda. What I remember is thinking how terrible a child I must be to cause my grandma Hilda to act in such a way.
You see, grandma Hilda personified obedience to the command we read in Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore that person in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
I could go on to say that my grandmother was acting in accordance with the love of God, for we know that God disciplines those whom He loves (Hebrews 12:6). But in truth, I don’t believe discipline was what motivated her, at least not the main thing. You see, after I had climbed high in order to reach higher, and knocked the forbidden item from its “out of reach” place, not only did the item fall to the floor and shatter, but I fell to the floor as well. Being of that age where little boys are basically made of rubber, it did me no harm. But Grandma Hilda rushed in with a shout, scooped me up in her arms, made sure I was in one piece, and then she gave me the swat on my posterior. She did so with the words “You scared me half to death. Please, don’t ever do anything like that again!” She was crying, and I don’t think I have ever felt as bad before or since.
Her momentary panic and concern wasn’t for the shattered item, it was for the possibility of a shattered little boy. A boy who, quite frankly, would have had it coming. Her words, her actions, even her swat, were all in love and were an effort to correct gently a kid who deserved correction that could have been far more severe.
We are commanded to “restore one another in a spirit of gentleness.” Please take a moment in prayer to consider what those words might mean in your life right now.
Is there someone in your life whom you feel is in need of correction? Do you trust yourself enough to correct them? I ask “if you trust yourself enough” because that is, I think, the greater question. We often avoid those situations of gentle correction because we have come to distrust ourselves in conflict situations. We may be concerned that our attempts at correction will not go well, either because we may go about it wrong or because the other person is likely to take it the wrong way. We don’t wish to risk damage to our relationship, so we endure what may be damaging to the person we care about.
Loving each other enough to help each other get through those difficult times is the key. We all make mistakes, and sometimes we need someone who loves us to “correct us gently” and get us back on the righteous track.
Be open to gentle correction, both the giving and receiving of it, for it is the way of the Lord.
Vern