Good morning. Do you remember these words from an old Beetle’s tune: Ah, look at all the lonely people…. All the lonely people – Where do they all come from? – All the lonely people – Where do they all belong? We look around and we see lonely people. Too often, I think that we need to look no further than the mirror to see such a person.
To be sure, loneliness is nothing new, and loneliness is a powerful force in the lives of people. Consider this: have you ever felt alone while in the middle of a crowd of people? Have you tried to end loneliness by immersing yourself into an activity only to find the loneliness reclaiming you? Have you tried hobbies, activities, and gatherings only to find that too soon the loneliness is back?
Truthfully, I think that all of us can admit to some, if not all of these statements. There are times in our lives when we feel alone. We feel all the more strange about it when those feelings of loneliness occur when we are with others. We may be fighting loneliness while at a party, or a ball game, or even in church. Does it help to know that such feelings are quite possibly universal among human beings? Probably not much, because the help for loneliness is found not in knowledge but in relationship.
We need to remember that we were not created for loneliness. When God created mankind, He immediately realized that man should not be alone. In Genesis 2:18, after announcing through every step of creation that each was “good,” we read these thoughts of God, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will create a helper that is right for him.” Now, we know that this was the moment when Eve came into being, but consider God’s words, “It is not good for man to be alone.” After their creation, man and woman, Adam and Eve, walked with God in the cool part of the day. They were created for fellowship, friendship, companionship, with each other and with God.
With this in mind, I would ask that you consider this statement regarding loneliness: Loneliness is, first of all, a spiritual condition.
Consider the scope of that statement. As a spiritual condition, loneliness is something that we should be bringing to God for help and for healing. Also, because it is a spiritual condition, it follows that our true enemy will use loneliness as a weapon to spiritually harm and hinder us. Can you imagine loneliness as a dark spiritual force, lurking in the darkness of our being, waiting for another opportunity to strike, crushing our spirit?
With those thoughts in mind, I would suggest that we consider what feeds loneliness and what defeats it.
The basics of who we are as human beings has not changed since man’s creation. So, the first answer to what defeats loneliness is fellowship and companionship. But that fellowship and companionship needs to be appropriately directed. Our need for nourishing and strengthening fellowship and companionship begins with our relationship with our Father God. God continues to desire to walk with His people. He continues to desire our fellowship and companionship. God knows how much we need it, and God is always ready to join us. As believers, it is imperative that we have an intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father. Our level of intimacy with God will determine how much victory and success we experience in our lives. You do not have an intimate relationship by default just because you are a Christian. While an intimate relationship with God is available to every believer, it must be cultivated, nurtured, and developed like any other relationship. It is through a deepening relationship with Jesus, and a growing relationship with the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, that we find the peace and power that defeat loneliness. It is through meaningful prayer and meditation within His Word that we find our relationship with God nurtured and blessed.
The other side of this truth is that the enemy is well aware of these things and will do all he can to dissuade us from developing that intimate relationship with the Father.
1 John 1:3-4 describes the priority of Christian fellowship and relationship, first with God but also with one another: We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 reminds us: Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Only God is capable of chasing the shadows of loneliness away and replacing them with His light. He does this as we come to Him in prayer and meditation, and He does this by using the people around us to nurture, comfort, and welcome us. It is an obvious truth that loneliness is a spiritual condition used by our enemy to bring us harm. But it is also true that when we are feeling alone, vulnerable, and even depressed our first response it to withdraw. We find ourselves wanting to sit alone in darkness when the way to healing is in fellowship and companionship. Don’t let the enemy win. Reach out. Be a friend and find a friend. Deepen your relationship with God in purposeful and intentional ways.
Step into the light and do so with a friend!
Vern